Should I Partner?
Let’s face it most of society is designed for couples. Everything
in this world seems to come in pairs. We are brainwashed to feel like
we need to be in a relationship in order to be happy and exist as a
whole person on this earth. This brainwashing seems to make an early
appearance in our lives. Just look at these Disney movies: Cinderella,
Snow
White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping
Beauty, Rapunzel,
and The
Little Mermaid. All these women waited for their Prince who came
to rescued them and they lived happily after! Stephen Sondheim’s
Into
the Woods weaves together all of our favorite fairy tales plus provides
a humorous and darker look into what really happens after
“happily ever after.” From childhood, we are conditioned
to believe that our life will begin the moment we meet someone. I have
lived the Cinderella life by putting off buying big purchases until
I was married waiting for my prince to come. It seems everyone expects
singles to want to partner and that it should be a
top priority in their life. As a single person, I feel the pressure
to partner from my family, friends as well as from myself. You must
remember the choice to partner should be your decision and not a mandate
from society.
In order to decide if partnering is right choice for you let’s
define a partnership. A partnership is a union between two individuals
characterized by mutual cooperation and responsibility. Partnerships
are formed when both people believe that the greater benefit lies in
uniting their energies, talents, and resources rather than remaining
separate. There are pros and cons to partnering. The pros being that
you are no longer alone, you are a part of a team, you have someone
to love you and who you will love in return. You have companionship,
someone who will fulfill your emotional and sexual needs. Partnering
provides you with someone who can celebrate your successes in life as
well as offer support and encouragement during times of crisis. The
cons are that you are not alone! You will have to consult with someone
before making decisions such as how you choose to spend your weekend.
You will have to handle differences between you and your partner such
as learning how to communicate effectively with each other as well as
making some compromises. You will learn that you will need to give up
some control as you will not always get your own way. There are times
when you will have to change your plans to accommodate your partner’s
wishes. In order for a partnership to succeed, you will need to make
someone your top priority as opposed to yourself. In other words you
will need to make room in your life for someone else and consider their
needs as well as your own.
To find out of partnering is the right choice for you ask yourself
the following questions:
- Am I willing to make someone a top priority in
my life such as put their needs before my own?
- Do I want to devote my time and energy with someone sharing all
aspects of my life?
- Am I willing to move past my existing comfort zone (emotional or
physical)?
- Am I prepared to discuss any topic even the ones that might make
me feel uncomfortable?
- Am I willing to make compromises?
- Am I willing to be flexible and not always get my own way?
- Am I willing to give up some of my privacy?
- Am I able to be supportive of my partner when they are going through
difficult times?
- Am I willing to work on being an effective communicator with my
partner?
- Am I willing to accept having a relationship with someone’s
family even if the family can be difficult?
There are many who chose to remain single and lead rich fulfilling
lives. Please don’t feel you have to be in a relationship because
of society’s standards. If you understand what it means to partner
plus are aware of the pros and cons, and you choose this option from
your heart than you are ready to move forward into a love relationship.
The choice to partner can be the most exciting and rewarding experience
of your life. Addionally the dating journey along the way can be equally
as fun. Just think of all the new people and new experiences that await
you!
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