My Dating Journal
2005
June
July
August
September
July 2005
Friday, July 1
Total emails: 19 Total IM’s: 20
1PM - I have been emailing with another guy friend who wrote me on
the dating web site. It now appears that he now wants to hang out with
me to exchange dating war stores. Men are a real interesting breed and
this one runs hot and cold. Do they really want to hang out and be friends
or just testing the waters for something more?! And tell me why does
it always have to be on their time table? I had asked him to hang out
before but he never took me up on the offer. Men!
Tuesday, July 5
Total emails: don’t know??! Total IM’s: no idea!!
9PM - Came home from the gym only to find I had no power in my house!
So I am sitting here in the dark writing by candle light. I decided
to make it a romantic evening filled with candles and some good wine.
11PM - Power is STILL out!! I can hear the call of my on-line men waiting
for me only I cannot access the Internet!! Help!! I don’t have
my daily quiz from eclectic guy! How ever did people survive without
electricity?!! Finally gave up out of boredom and went to bed! Guess
the men will think I am playing hard to get!
Wednesday, July 6
Total emails: 21 Total IM’s: 22
8AM - Electricity came back on in the middle of the night but my DSL
is still down. I was so happy to go to work so I can get on the computer.
Ah my old friend come to mama! Okay I don’t have an online addiction!
Hum a guy name bowling sent me a very cheesy lame email:
Sounds like a real gutter ball to me!! Okay back to my quizzes with
eclectic guy! Today we are discussing family ties - brother or sister,
mama’s boy or daddy’s girl, and family pets.
Friday, July 8
Total emails: does not matter Total IM’s: who cares?!
10AM - Went to work today and my boss left me a note to come and see
her when I arrive in the office. Bad news for me as I find out I am
getting laid off from my job today! My company has been going through
some restructuring and this time I did not survive the layoff. I packed
up my desk and left for the day. I don’t feel like I know quite
what to do with myself. I am getting lots of telephone calls from the
quick email I sent from my work but I am gearing up to make the telephone
call to my family telling them the bad news. Spend the rest of the day
on the phone until my former co-workers showed up at my house with some
alcohol to soothe my pain.
Midnight - Phone rings and it is out of state connection. He is calling
to see if I am okay but I don’t get how he would know to call
me. He says that he has got a sixth sense and knew that I needed help.
Nice to get some comfort even if on the phone.
Saturday, July 9
Total emails: 23 Total IM’s: 22
8AM - Did not sleep much last night just kept tossing, turning and
worrying. So I decided to take my mind off my troubles and log in. I
have been thinking about unemployment and dating. Is it acceptable for
me to continue since I am unemployed and feeling a bit vulnerable? Will
I be able to feel good about myself and present a positive self image
while I am unemployed? I received two emails today and I found myself
looking at their current jobs. Perhaps I can use online dating as another
way to network for a new job?
I decided to ask some of my guy friends how they feel about dating
an unemployed woman and found that with men it did not seem to matter.
It is interesting how much employment matters to women when it comes
to dating. Suppose if I were a male I would need to shelve my online
dating until I found a new job. I decided to persevere with my online
dating quest. Will have to find money in the budget for it and can reason
that it will make a good networking opportunity besides going out for
a free meal will be nice and good for the budget!
3PM - Logged back in and wrote to one of the two guys - psych major.
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hi
there cosmo girl,
looks
like you are someone else that majored in psych and
ended up going in to something else....am i right?
oopss
i just noticed i am not supposed to write you.. are
you going to spank me for doing so? Ha Ha
well
will leave the rest of to you..you seem like someone
i would like to meet, plus you still have your teeth!!
cheers!
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Sunday, July 10
Total emails: 25 Total IM’s: 22
9PM - Well it appears that Olivia Newton John lover (aka shaky hands)
has come back from his Costa Rica trip and has not forgotten about me.
Darn! He has sent me an email that he is back from his trip. I wonder
about his aversion to calling me on the phone?! It is a big dating mistake
to continue to email vs talking on the phone once you have given out
your phone number. You need to stick with the phone dude (more personable).
It appears that he has decided to bring me a gift from Costa Rica (several
bags of coffee) which is a sweet gesture but not appropriate after only
one short meeting. I am feeling suffocated here! Oh my God I sound like
a man!! He wants to go out next Saturday night (prime dating night)
and once again suggested the same area where we met for coffee.
Monday, July 11
Total emails: 28 Total IM’s: 23
Back to quizzes with eclectic guy. I have been dying to hear his voice
and he mentioned that he has a nice one. We have spent so much time
with the emails that now the stakes are high and I am scared to meet
him. Will we click beyond these emails?! He gave me his office number
so I could hear his voice. I called his office in the evening so I could
hear his voice mail. Strange that his office extension is my condo number!
Can it be fate?! Well I was not so happy about what I heard when I got
the voice mail. His voice sounded so garbled that I could not understand
what he was saying! What is going on here? He wrote me that he is recovering
from jaw surgery. I agreed to talk to him on the phone the following
night afraid of what would happen.
Tuesday, July 12
Total emails: 30 Total IM’s: 25
2PM - Wrote back Olivia Newton John lover (shaky hands) and let him
know that I was laid off from my job so I am a bit pre-occupied with
things. I am milking getting laid off for all it is worth! You know
I got to thinking how is it that the word “laid” can have
two distinct opposite meanings and outcomes?! You can get laid off from
your job which is not such a great experience or you can get laid from
someone which can be a wonderful experience. Hum something to ponder!
I let him know that I was unavailable for Saturday night date and perhaps
we can meet for ice cream. Thinking I don’t want to break off
all my networking connections and I want to keep it light and casual.
8PM - My cell phone rings and I know it is eclectic guy. I pick it
up and my heart is racing. I ended up talking for three hours with eclectic
guy.
Wednesday, July 13
Total emails: 33 Total IM’s: 27
9AM - Another email from Olivia Newton John lover (shaky hands). Boy
he is going over board with the ice cream. I am just so tired after
reading his email. I just can’t do it. I will say I just can’t
have fun right now since I am unemployed.
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Nice
to hear from you again CG.
Wow.
I certainly understand the stress of being laid off
(although I have never personally had that misfortune,
I have plenty of freinds that have, as well as a brother
in law that have each expressed the all too unpleasant
stress of being laid off.)
Glad
you received a good severance package from your company.
Anyway,
as for meeting for ice cream, that sounds like fun.
Are you free Sunday afternoon? If so, we could meet
in the square and go somewhere for ice cream. I don't
know if they have a place in the square that sells
ice cream, but if not, I am sure we could find a place.
One
fun idea, if you would be interested, would be to
drive to the Mountain and take either the cable car
up to the top or walk the rock path to the top. I
know they have a nice ice cream stand at the top of
the mountain and the views are great!
Another
fun casual idea would be to go to the bowling alley.
We could get ice cream there and then bowl a game
or two if you enjoy bowling.
Anyway,
you can let me know if you are free Sunday afternoon
and what sounds fun to you.
P.S.
I was just starting to wonder if I was going to have
to force myself to drink those 3 bags of gourmet coffee
myself... so I am glad that you wrote back so I can
still give them to you as the gift I had intended
them to be.
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Also wrote back psych major:
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psych
major,
Do
you think I should contact the dating police on you
for writing to me?! Are your photos recent because
I will report you for false advertising! LOL I have
gotten some nasty emails for putting an age requirement;
however you would be surprised just how many 50+ years
write to me (just way too old). Over ten years forget
about it!!! You do appear to be a young 48 year old!
I like someone who is young at heart and full of humor.
Yes
I did major in Psychology but ended up doing something
else. Currently I am pursuing my options as I just
got down sized from my company last Friday. I noticed
that you are a website management hum are you analyzing
computers much like I analyzed contracts?
So
I guess I should end with some of the traditional
questions.........how long have you lived here?.........do
you own or rent?.......what do you like to do for
fun?.........is that green frog one of your younger
friends?
CG
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Thursday, July 14
Total emails: 35 Total IM’s: 29
9AM - Just clock work, Olivia Newton John lover (shaky hands) just
can’t seem to take a hint here:
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Hey
that's ok. I understand
I
know its gotta be real tough to deal with the pressures
of being laid off of your job.
The
last thing anybody wants to worry about or deal with
at the same time as job hunting is the pressures of
a new dating relationship.
How
about we talk at the start of the week and then maybe
just plan to meet in the square one evening for that
casual ice cream.
You'll
enjoy seeing some of my trip pictures and just maybe
I can offer a sympathetic, helpful ear in your job
stress.
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Okay I have had enough here time to hit the eject button on this Olivia
lover! No one said anything about a new relationship and how could looking
at his vacation pictures cheer up my unemployed ass?! I honestly don’t
love you! I let Olivia lover know I am just not in a dating mode since
I am looking for a job. You got to go with what ever works for you!
Friday, July 15
Total emails: 39 Total IM’s: 31
Alright real tasteful message here…yea right!!
Tuesday, July 19
Total emails: 43 Total IM’s: 32
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Hi
CG,
Just
got back from playing tennis out in that heat and
humidity and it's nighttime.. do you play?? ( tennis
that is?)
funny
you mentioned scaring women off. i few years ago i
had a mustache and some woman told me that my mustache
was kind of scary. ( it was pretty bushy ) it has
been off since then.
so
what kind of classes will you be attending next week?
as for your company and the job placement, at least
they just didn't boot you out the door and hopefully
things do pan out!!!
you
mentioned having a job where you can have fun and
be creative. that kind of describes my job which i
can say i enjoy and look forward to work each day.
the web site stuff allows me to show some creativity
( as well as video and other graphic stuff i do) and
there is always times to cut up, tell jokes and just
have fun with co-workers. today, a bunch of us went
out to bruster's for dessert!! yummy love that stuff..
let's
see.. on your answers you did get at least 3 right!!
good job!!
as
for the questions you asked:
the gator's name i believe is ally
yes to brothers or sisters.. o.k. i have 3 sisters..
six flags
sunset
and i'll take the graduate for $100 please
of
course a few for you..
1) your name
2) coke or pepsi
3) shaken or stirred
4) over or under ( toilet paper on the roll that is)
5) fast or slow
6) favorite flavor of ice cream
cheers!
Psych major
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8PM - Another lengthy chat with eclectic guy. We decide to make a plan
to meet each other at a coffee house and we both talked about expectations.
I am so nervous about meeting him!
Thursday, July 21
Total emails: 44 Total IM’s: 32
6:30PM - Getting ready for date with eclectic guy at coffee house.
Got the music cracked up, trying on everything in my wardrobe and got
my vodka and cranberry to take off the edge. Boy it seems like the expectations
are higher with this date since I have really enjoyed our email correspondence
this past month. I tell myself we got along so well in the emails and
the phone it will be like meeting an old friend for coffee. Even if
no chemistry at least the conversation will flow.
8PM - Meet at coffee house for date with eclectic guy.
10PM - Driving home from my date and wondering what the hell happened?!
First of all I did not even recognize eclectic guy since his photo was
dated (try about 10 years dated)! I decided to pick up my jaw and make
the best of things by looking forward to some pleasant conversations
only that was a struggle. Eclectic guy was a man of few words and I
don’t know what happened. I know I resemble my photos so I cannot
believe he was disappointed in fact I have been told that I look better
than my photos. He ordered a cheese platter and watching him eat was
painful with his recovering mouth surgery from a few months ago he took
very small bites. So I was talking while he was nibbling. I started
to ramble about allergies and that I took Claritin when he said, “Can
I share something with you that is very personal?” I braced myself.
What is it about this dark coffeehouse that makes people want to confess
things that should be kept private?! When I said okay, he said “My
previous girlfriend had problems with dryness.” I was so shocked
that all I could do was stare at him not understanding the correlation
with Claritin and feminine dryness? He later walked me to my car and
once I drove home a friend called who was in the area. Thank God she
was able to stop by so I could tell her about this date. It helps to
have a support system when you are dating especially for the first date
disasters. We agreed that the private information he shared was wrong
on so many levels. I think that was private information that should
have been kept between him and his former girlfriend. Still wondered
about the correlation with Claritin and now I will never look at Claritin
the same way again!
Friday, July 22
Total emails: 46 Total IM’s: 32
9AM - Got an email from eclectic guy.
I am sitting here reviewing the date and trying to figure out how to
respond to his email. First date jitters?! Let’s try that he did
not even attempt to engage in conversation (just sat there nibbling
on his cheese) and then what about the inappropriate Claritin incident?!
I did not respond as I need some time to think about things.
Monday, July 25
Total emails: 48 Total IM’s: 34
9AM - Another email from eclectic guy and I now feel compelled to write
him back since he just does not get it. I let him know that I could
not meet him again and that his inappropriate comment about his ex-girlfriend
really turned me off. It was just wrong on so many levels.
Another email from psych major and we are in the middle of dating quizzes
only my heart is not in it (here we go again)! Oh well I must preserve!
At least we are finally moving to second base, the phone. I have learned
the hard way that you should not keep communicating with the emails
more than a week (2 weeks maximum).
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answers
to yours:
1) math ( minored in it)
2) comedy
3) i go both ways..i'm ambidextrous i guess
4) beach ( tough choice on this one)
5) hot chocolate..( don't drink coffee)
now
for you...
1)
current favorite tv show
2) what actor would you want to be stuck on a deserted
island with
3) something you have always wanted to do but never
did
4) If the statement, 'You are what you eat' was true,
I would be a _______.
5) do you want to chat on the phone? my number is
XXX-XXX-XXXX or i can call you..
keep
cool!
Psych major
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Tuesday, July 26
Total emails: 50 Total IM’s: 35
9AM - Got a reply back from eclectic guy who is now sounding so very
apologetic. I asked why he was not very talkative during our date and
he said that he was reacting to my reaction blah blah. You know I think
that this guy might have some self esteem issues here. Additionally
he says he was talking when he should have been listening (inappropriate
comment) and that he has so much he can learn from me and that he has
learned so much already. You know I am not here to be his teacher nor
his therapist! He is a grown up and should know what is appropriate
to discuss on a first date. I decided to tell him that I am not willing
to meet again. This fish will be tossed back besides I have bigger fish
to fry!
Thursday, July 28
Did not have the time to log in today as I have been in class all day.
I am taking these classes through my outplacement agency funded for
thirty days by my former company. Today they covered identifying your
market plan such as industry, size of company and geography. As I am
sitting in these classes it occurs to me how looking for a job is just
like looking for a man! I realize that I can apply my “man”
dating skills to the job hunt. I must not get hung up on one job and
wait by the phone! The company may not be into me! I can’t go
putting all my eggs in one basket!
Continue on to
August 2005
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